Saturday, November 3, 2012

My new normal

So what have I been doing for the last month?

That's a bit hard to explain because my body and mind have not been doing the same things.
This is probably not that strange for some people, but I have put a lot of energy into being "present" in my life (especially in the last few years) and now when I am sucks.

That doesn't mean I've been sitting in a dark room staring at a wall.

Sure, this has been a tough month; A ruptured tendon has really lowered the bar on what can be called a "successful surgery", but

My middle finger is definitely straighter than it was.I will never be able to bend the tip and, unless I have work done on my extensor tendons (the ones that straighten your fingers), the finger will never open/close.
At least my hand is back to what it was pre-franken thumb surgery

I spent a couple of days in Yosemite with my parents (no hantha virus outbreaks) and even got to hike the Panorama Trail.

And I went down to SoCal and watched the CAF San Diego Triathlon Challenge with my sister, saw my nephews play (soccer, robotics) and saw my niece (who just keeps getting smarter and smarter)

I'm still watching some great Stanford Volleyball (and enjoying seeing Kaitlin and her parents too)

And I have been able to put in a lot of hours on a presentation for the recycled water treatment plant project (who would have guessed that I'd finally love my laptops touchpad?).
But I still have not been myself. 
I know it's probably more normal than abnormal to feel this way after so much has happened.
I've had some dark moments that have lasted a day or two, but I look at it like the weather - It will pass.
This latest funk has lingered and I think it's not just because so much has been taken from me, but more from the cycle of surgery/recovery/PT which has really ground me down. 

The good news is that my doc told me that I can hold off on more procedures for as long as I need. 
And I definitely need some time.

For now, I'm looking forward to seeing what I can do with what I've got (like I was doing in the beginning).

And today Joel has set me a goal - the "Will Swim For Food" event Dec 15th in Santa Cruz.   
Stay tuned.


  1. Will swim for Food? I thought that was what we do (just kidding).
    If I cannot rally a road trip for the event, I will definitely contribute to the cause.
    Trip to Yosemite sounds awesome. I have not been in YEARS.
    Forrest N. wore the Board Short Mile shorts at the swim that we did after CCSF awards banquet yesterday (at Cabrillo Beach) and I thought of the great swim we got to do with you.
    I am hoping for much more upward momentum with your mood and life and am thinking good thoughts for you lots!

  2. John--FWIW--Kaitlin loves seeing you at the volleyball games (and the other times too). She gets very excited at the mention of, "Uncle John"!

  3. Hello, John - I don't know you, but heard your story through several different people/articles on a recent vacation to Maui. I became really interested in doing the Maui Channel swim and am hoping to put together a relay team from my hometown (Los Gatos) for 2013 or 2014. In any case, reading your story has been very inspiring and my heart goes out to you after what happened. Looks like you are quite a tough individual. Best of luck in your continued recovery. Your fan, Dina.